How I broke my hand

I broke my hand over the weekend. Actually, not the whole hand, it’s not shattered or anything. Just broke the pinkie on my left hand. If you had to choose a finger to break, that’s a good one to choose.

How did I break my finger? That’s a good question. Below are three stories of how I MIGHT have broken it. See if you think any are true:

 

Story 1

So there I was, standing in the alley with the smell of rotten garbage. Water dripped down my hair and into my eyes. I was soaked all the way to my converse. No way was I leaving, though. The drunk moron in front of me was going to learn some manners and I was going to defend my wife’s honor.

Was I worried? Heck no, I’m a black belt after all.

Then, just like in the movies, he lumbered unsteadily forward, throwing a roundhouse that a hippo could have avoided. I slipped by and pow, landed a good one on his nose. He rocked back, shocked.

Now I was a little giddy with the achievement, so I danced in to pop him another one. I swung my left hand, and crack. His head felt as hard as steel as my hand connected and I felt pain shoot up my arm.

Cradling my hand, all I could do was watch his fist coming right at my face.

Story 2

“Spin me.”

Little did I know that those words would be my undoing. I mean, come on, it was just a kids merry go round. I had spun my older kids on them hundreds of times when they were growing up. I couldn’t tell my stepson no, could I?

Telling him to hold tight, I grasped the rails and started to run. It’s a very weird thing to run while crouched over and grasping two rails on one side. Once I had him going I stopped to watch.

Yup, sure enough, he had that glazed look of a kid that was absolutely terrified and enjoying himself silly at the same time.

Timing it just right, I started to reach for the bars as I started running to match speeds. Therein lies my downfall. If I had just gone around the mud I wouldn’t have slipped. If I hadn’t slipped I wouldn’t have heard the loud crack as my finger was bent at a very unnatural angle.

Story 3

“Last chance, so ya’ bedder tell us, see?”

Since I was strapped to a chair, I wasn’t about to correct this neanderthal’s grammar.

“Seriously, I think you have the wrong guy. I don’t know anything about a diamond.”

I looked desperately at the two thugs hovering over me. They exchanged a glance.

“Want me ta’ loosen his tongue Tony?” the bigger one asked.

“Nah, let’s look around first. It’s gotta be here.”

What could I do but sit as they busted up the joint. Not my place, which I think may have been the problem.

“Um, fellas, I don’t want to interrupt, but this isn’t even my house. Honest, I was just trying to collect money for cancer research. See? My bag is right there.”

I bobbled my head, trying to indicate the forgotten bag by the door.

“That’s it, Sylvester. Let’s rough him up.”

I was stunned. What type of respectable mafia guy is called Sylvester. Before I could question the name, the big guy grabbed my pinkie and yanked it up. I barely heard the snap before I blacked out.

I hope they found their diamond.


There you have it. Which one do you believe?

If you are interested, I have a couple other stories to check out:

Jeff Strand “I gotta pee” fan fiction

Dr. Time

Martin & James Visit the Witch

I can send you more stories, including an exclusive Martin & James story where they battle the first vampire.

Justice League movie – story fail

Have you seen the Justice League movie? If you haven’t, it’s pretty good, you should check it out. It’s supposed to be DC’s answer to the Marvel multi-movie universe. That’s a whole different discussion and not what I want to bring up today.

In the movie, Batman gathers Flash, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and Cyborg to take on this threat to the world. The climax of the movie sees the team battling flying, demon insects while trying to stop the big, bad guy. OK, so far, so good. (Warning: there’s a bit of spoilers below, so if you haven’t seen the movie, go see it before reading.)

When this big, bad guy shows up, another dimension starts intruding on our world. Essentially a portal opens up and the demon bugs come out and the portal is getting bigger. When the portal opened, it was right in the middle of this town. Of course, most of the people, being smart, bug (ha ha) out and get away as fast as they can. That is, except for one family.

This guy boards up his windows to keep the bugs out and he’s ready to fight with his shotgun. His little girl, the star of this little scene, is scared and hiding under the table. After listening to the bugs slam into their house, she decides to crawl over to a cabinet. Reaching inside she pulls out — bug spay! I loved it. This little girl isn’t going to be afraid, she will fight the bugs and gets the best weapon she can think of.

Fast forward: The Justice League shows up and is fighting the bugs. The father, realizing he can’t fight them, takes the opportunity to skeddaddle. He loads the family up in the pickup truck and gets out. Except it isn’t that easy. The portal is getting bigger and about the engulf their truck and the bugs are swarming and will be attacking the family, and the little girl, riding in the back. Of course, there are superheroes to save the day, and the Flash uses his super speed to move the truck, and family, far down the road out of danger.

Right here is the missed opportunity. Flash tells them bye, and leaves. Ugh, ball dropped. Here’s what really should have happened. As he’s about to leave, the little girl tugs his sleeve and hands him the bug spray.

That’s it. Nothing super big or spectacular, but it’s exactly what was needed. They had this whole arc with the little girl and her family. They are trapped and she’s afraid, yet she decides to fight back and does what she can. Now, there are super people that will take care of things, yet, she wants to help and gives him her can of bug spray. She doesn’t need it. Regardless of the abilities they have, she is helping him and giving him the only thing she can, not only as thanks but because she knows they will need all the help they can get.

Even better would have been as the Flash is running around, he actually gets attacked by a group of bugs and pulls out the bug spray and blasts them, causing them to all fly away, maybe some fly into trees or buildings or whatever. He then smiles and looks at the can. That, to me, would have been perfect and was really missed. They could have finished that little sub-plot very well but left it go and it feels missed.

Wait, there could have been one more thing. End of credit scene, the Flash visits the family and gives the girl a new bottle of bug spray. Yeah, that would have been great.

Did you see the movie? Did you like it? Do you think they should have done what I said? Just curious. Thanks.

 

Ramblings like Stephen King

One of the writers I have read a lot of is Stephen King. Starting about age 10, I have read almost everything he has written. The Shining is one of my favorite books of all time.

One reason for Mr. King’s popularity may be his comfortable, aw-shucks tone at times. He especially brings this out in the bits he writes before the stories. I remember this in Night Shift, the bit of insight into the actual author. Who they are, how they think, and why the hell are you writing this weird stuff?!

I decided to do this also. I want to get to know my readers – or constant reader as Mr. King affectionately refers to them. Even with my short stories, I’ve started doing this. While they might not be up to Mr. King’s standards, I hope they provide some insight and let us be a bit closer.

Below is what I wrote for my first Martin & James story:

Hello and welcome one and all,

I am truly humbled and grateful that you are reading this story, the third one in the Martin & James series. I am glad the stories have brought some enjoyment and pleasure.
When I originally got it through my head that I really did want to write, I had an idea. Then, I sat on it and let the idea ‘evolve’ in my mind. Looking back now, I think it was more a matter of being afraid – afraid I couldn’t actually write and afraid that no one would want to read it. The fact that you are reading the third Martin & James story tells me that someone enjoys this. That’s totally mind blowing to me. Boom. Again, I am completely humbled and grateful.
I hope, that as you read through this story, that you enjoy it and find a bit of an escape from whatever your stresses are for the day. I hope that you want to read more, to learn more about the masked man they chased or learn more about the agency and other agents. Maybe you are questioning why they have a kid with a field agent – which is totally weird.
Well, the story you are about to read, does not answer all of those questions. That is the other thing that originally popped into my head when I wanted to write. I had never written a full length novel and didn’t have the confidence that I could do that. I did want to write, but if I got discouraged while writing my first novel, I would stop and never know if I really could do it. I’m probably not the only one that has ever felt that way.
To solve that dilemma, I decided to write short stories. This thought came from my love of the Conan stories by Robert E. Howard. Not that he consciously thought about writing short stories that just captured a slice, or an adventure, in Conan’s life. He was writing for what he had at the time – magazine’s that would publish short stories. The way Howard did it was to just write various stories about Conan in different stages of his life. There wasn’t really a thought to make a full life history or to even connect them, it was just stories. I loved that.
So that’s where I was, wanting to write stories but not sure I could. I decided to write a series of adventures about my main character and idea for the world. I did a couple, talked with some people, wrote some more, etc. Finally, I found someone that helped me out and encouraged me to stop with the individual stories and write a book. By that time, I felt that maybe I could.
OK, that’s not the whole story, but I will regale you with more at some other time. Since I took my main idea and went the full novel route, I still wanted to get some action adventure stories that were a bunch of stories loosely connected. My stepson, who is a very active dreamer, started telling me about some of his dreams, and that’s the final piece I needed.
So here we are. Action stories about a duo fighting the forces that want to destroy the world. They have some connection, and more of that will come out in time, but they are just fun reads. That’s my hope and desire.
With that said, I won’t hold you up any longer from finding out about this crazed weatherman and how Martin and James, maybe, defeat him.
Enjoy!

 

Kindle Scout

I must say, there are quite a few opportunities for independent authors in today’s world. Kindle publishing started a revolution and many people have had success with it and there are quite a few really good books that may not have gotten published without these avenues. Is it still a struggle and does it still take a good book? Of course. In fact, for the independent author/publisher, it can be harder to get sufficient recognition and readership.

Have you ever gotten a book from your favorite bookstore, only to discover it sucked and probably shouldn’t have been published? Why was it available and why did you get it? I’m going to bet that the publisher’s marketing had something to do with that. Everything from ads, the book cover, and the book description. The only problem was that the book really wasn’t that good, just the marketing.

For an independent, it’s even harder. It’s more difficult to get the word out and get people to give your book a try. But when you have a traditional publisher pushing a book, it already has some credibility because it’s coming from a trusted publisher.

I think many of us realize this in today’s world. Each year, more independent authors are getting recognized and read. this is a good thing all around. Can you still get a crap book? Of course, but the ability to find books that are focused on what you like is enormous.

I recently was made aware of what seems to be a great avenue for new, independent authors to get a boost. Kindle Scout is one of Amazon’s initiatives. The focus of Kindle Scout is to allow an author to put a book out there for anyone to check out and see if it’s something they would be interested in. If you find a book that sounds interesting and would be something you may like to read, you can vote on it. After a month, if a book has enough votes it will be chosen for publication. If a book that you vote on was chosen for publication, you get it for free to read.

This is a great system. I just wish more people knew about this and would go to vote for books. There are some great authors out there that may not be known, just because of obscurity. It’s great that this provides an avenue for authors to get their works known.

UPDATE:

I started this post without finishing it right away. Between the time and started and now, Kindle Scout is closing. They are no longer accepting admissions, so all the good it may have done will be no more. I’m saddened by this. I can understand that it may have been a lot of work for little reward and that there may not have been as many people submitting or voting as desired. Again, I wish people would be more active when things like this are available.

That said – I would love to see someone else do something like this? Maybe with kids to allow them to get excited and interested in writing and reading.